3 Mindset Shifts for Big Hearted Experts who Fear Self Promotion
Many years ago when I set up my coaching practice a good friend told me that in order to earn my credentials, I should open my heart and share my life experiences. I gasped silently in horror trying to digest the idea of putting all my personal stuff on the internet and I stalled my progress for fear of vulnerability and being judged. What if my family and friends read about it? What if the ex boyfriend stumbles across it? There were still personal things that I was self conscious about, I wasn’t baggage-free and perfect, so why would people want to work with me? What I realised as my articles reached the other side of the world, was that people identified and appreciated my vulnerabilities so they invested in me to help them.
I am very grateful for where I am today but there have been many challenges to overcome, just as there are for each of us, and as a coach working in the area of self-esteem and confidence, know that I have come from a place very similar to where you may be right now.
Give me More Confidence Please!
Unfortunately confidence doesn’t grow on trees. It’s a bit like happiness; you can’t just wave a magic wand and suddenly wake up happy or confident. It’s work in progress and it starts with your mindset and the relationship you have with yourself. An enthusiastic entrepreneur or professional job seeker can have passion in their heart and an abundance of skills or knowledge but unless they have belief in their ability, they will find the technique of self promotion very challenging. Confidence in what you have to offer requires congruence and self-belief that you are the expert and the person to fix the problem. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?
If you are struggling to get your dream job, start your dream career or want more clients for your business, here are 3 mindset shifts you can use to practice feeling more confident in selling YOU.
1. Work out your fear and dissolve it by doing it
The best way to overcome any fear is to get on and smash through it. Fear is a natural response to a situation that causes us to either fight through something or run away from it. Grab a piece of paper and answer these questions:
a) What is the worst that could happen if I did do it?
b) What is the worst that could happen if I didn’t do it?
c) What am I sacrificing by not doing it?
d) How will I feel after I have done it?
2. Be authentic, not perfect
Did you know that most of our communication is done telepathically and through our body language? You may have experienced a conversation with someone where they insist they are speaking the truth but you don’t resonate with what they are saying. This is because we use our intuition to communicate. People are much more forgiving if you are open and honest and show a little vulnerability because authenticity creates connections. So whether you are selling a product or service in your business, or selling yourself into a job, try to be honest, have a sense of humour and not take things too seriously.
3. There is no failure only feedback
This is one of my favourite throwbacks to start-up clients when they beat themselves up having fluffed an important opportunity. Never overlook the chance to discover what you could do differently. Without the odd curveball we could not learn and grow, and challenges are there to help us evolve. Whether you squirm at the thought of standing up in front of a big crowd and talking about yourself, or selling yourself on a one to one basis, there are always things you will do better at next time. So love who you are right now because there is never failure, only feedback and no such thing as perfection.
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