How to Heal from Rejection
We have all been there; booted out of a job, dumped by a partner, or had a few doors slammed in our faces (physically and metaphorically). The feelings that come with rejection can throw up a whole manner of self reflection, most commonly not being good enough or feeling desperately unwanted and alone.
When I suffered with low self-esteem and depression, I was extremely sensitive to rejection. If a situation didn’t go the way I wanted it to, I would regurgitate all the things I disliked in myself to justify the reason why I had been rejected. How so very far from the truth I was but I had no rational view at the time with my negative mind-set.
As a society we rely very heavily on the need for other people’s approval. This includes the decisions we make, the actions we take, and how other people respond to our thoughts and feelings. If we experience disapproval from someone, we may battle to restore their approval by changing our behaviour to suit them. But it is impossible to please everyone as we will always base our decisions on the judgement we have of ourselves. Our perceptions change as the relationship with our self improves.
Here are some useful ways you can heal from rejection and hopefully they will make you see things differently in the future.
Get into the habit of respecting yourself more. What could you change about the relationship you have with yourself and how could it be more valued? Start by writing out all the amazing things your body does for you to keep it alive – not something we necessarily think about but good to be aware of.
No-one is Perfect
When we feel rejected, we are effectively rejecting ourselves. We each have different perceptions and opinions which make us individual, and as a result we will never be the perfect person to everyone. Unless someone feels perfect in themselves, how can they then perceive perfection?
When we build our self-esteem and change the relationship we have with our mind, we no longer rely so much on other people to make us feel good about ourselves. If you are sensitive to rejection then there are ways you can look to improve your self-esteem. What are your most positive traits? What do you do well? What do people like about you? What makes you feel good about yourself? When you look at your list, think about how you can connect with these things more often.
Remember people are judging of themselves too
When someone says no to you, ends a relationship with you, or they don’t answer your messages, take some time to consider what may be going on in the their life at the time. Also how does that person relate to themselves? Are they happy in themselves enough to be able to validate or approve of your actions? Are they going through a difficult time or feel insecure? Our responses to each other are all relative to how we feel in our own mind and some days are better than others!