How to Let Go Of Unhealthy Relationships And Boost Your Self Worth
The relationships we have in our life are often there to teach us something. When we interact with people we get to learn not only from them but also about ourselves. We can become aware of our internal emotions and appreciate the contrast of the attributes we like and dislike. When someone has a negative impact on a person, too often they avoid taking responsibility for the emotion that is brought out, blaming the other for the way they feel. In the worst scenarios of dysfunctional relationships, the person unconsciously chooses to take on another persons baggage, and ends up being manipulated and controlled.
Some examples could be:
- Putting up with emotional bullying and manipulation.
- Being influenced by the judgements people make about you.
- Taking on the feelings and opinions that other people have and the person they perceive you to be.
In fear of rejection or loneliness a person often tries to change themselves to please the other but that never works because happiness is an inside job!
We can choose if we want to take on opinions, criticisms and judgments from other people — or not. You have absolute control over your own emotional state and the more we work on your own self-worth, the less other people’s comments will bothers you. In addition, when you have more respect for yourself you are less likely to attract those kind of people in your life anyway.
Knowing that you have complete control over your feelings, actions and emotions allows you to get to know yourself and begin to appreciate who you are. It is very liberating to let go of the people and burdens that bring you down, and a precious gift to allow yourself when you are ready. Imagine the freedom of feeling less troubled by what other people think of you? Many people fear that they would seem arrogant or selfish if they didn’t care, but actually what happens is people start to respect you more and see a balanced and centred person of whom they want to be like too!
If you get caught up in other people’s stuff, remember these tips:
- You can walk away at any time.
- You can immerse yourself in doing something you love which gives you great pleasure.
- You can let go of the relationships with people who are no longer good for you.
- You can re-frame your thoughts in to positive ones.
- You can say YES or NO to anyone at any time.
- You can read a book that’s nourishing to your soul.
- You can take action.
Here is a technique for you to follow if you need to let go of an unhealthy relationship:
- Write a list of all the reasons why you have to have this person in your life.
- Write out all the things they have done to upset or hurt you.
- Close your eyes and imagine a movie screen in front of you.
- One after the other, play out all the unpleasant memories you have connected to this person. Notice all the negative things they have said or done to you.
- Keep on playing the memories over and over until you get bored.
- To change the feelings you have against the memories, re-play the memories backwards, play some cheesy music over the top, one after the other.
Good luck with your new lease of life!